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rfmcdonaldA brief reply to the person who replied to me two posts ago (and to anyone else, I'm sure, who's similarly concerned by me):
I don't condemn this region of Atlantic Canada because of my sexuality; or rather, it's not a primary reason. I just don't like the way that Atlantic Canada exists, and Prince Edward Island in particular. I don't want the Island; I want to be in a metropolitan environment, because, quite frankly, I want a change of environment.
How do you plan on studying Canadian literature if you can't even embrace the culture you grew up in, a culture that is a part of the Canadian identity?
Quite frankly, because I don't like PEI culture. Everything distinct about it can be traced either to the Island's remaining rural roots or to a chintsy folkloric tendency (ceilidhs, anyone?). There might be some core of authenticity, but I've never experienced it.
Canada isn't that. Or, at least, my preferred Canada isn't that. It's new, it's different, it's not monochrome or agricultural but multicoloured and wonderfully urban. And I want that Canada, which is just as legitimate as anything else you might want.
That's why I so want to go to Queen's University. I'm not running away from my problems; I'm simply abandoning Prince Edward Island as a place I'm not particularly fond of and going to some place far away where I can start anew. I'll be quite honest, here: I don't like myself. I don't like my inability to socialize properly, I don't like my ability to reduce everything in my life to intellectual first principles down to their sterile white bones, I don't like the way I look (my weight, my clothes, my hair), I don't like the way that I apparently zig-zag between feeling myself lowest of the low and best of the best (though I'd be happy to find some kind of minimally happy level), I don't like the way that my relationships with my family keep failing because of our mutual misunderstandings, I don't like the way I alienate people ... As a matter of fact, there's few things about myself that I do like.
I'd like to solve the problems with my family (and who knows who else?). I've no doubt that if I fail here the effects will go on to poison my (hopefully many) remaining years no matter what I go on to achieve. But, well, I might be doomed to failure; I hope not, I hope that the counselling will take hold somehow, but maybe things have proceeded too far. Eh bien. I'll have to cope.
Please, tell me who you are; in person, or contact me over my profile page if you can't bear physical contact with me. I've no doubt--quite seriously, quite honestly--that I need to be smacked; someone who knows me as well as you should do the honours, if only because you're clearly so justifiably upset with me.
Oh, and sign your name in the future, even a pen name. I find anonymous posting somewhat creepy.
I don't condemn this region of Atlantic Canada because of my sexuality; or rather, it's not a primary reason. I just don't like the way that Atlantic Canada exists, and Prince Edward Island in particular. I don't want the Island; I want to be in a metropolitan environment, because, quite frankly, I want a change of environment.
How do you plan on studying Canadian literature if you can't even embrace the culture you grew up in, a culture that is a part of the Canadian identity?
Quite frankly, because I don't like PEI culture. Everything distinct about it can be traced either to the Island's remaining rural roots or to a chintsy folkloric tendency (ceilidhs, anyone?). There might be some core of authenticity, but I've never experienced it.
Canada isn't that. Or, at least, my preferred Canada isn't that. It's new, it's different, it's not monochrome or agricultural but multicoloured and wonderfully urban. And I want that Canada, which is just as legitimate as anything else you might want.
That's why I so want to go to Queen's University. I'm not running away from my problems; I'm simply abandoning Prince Edward Island as a place I'm not particularly fond of and going to some place far away where I can start anew. I'll be quite honest, here: I don't like myself. I don't like my inability to socialize properly, I don't like my ability to reduce everything in my life to intellectual first principles down to their sterile white bones, I don't like the way I look (my weight, my clothes, my hair), I don't like the way that I apparently zig-zag between feeling myself lowest of the low and best of the best (though I'd be happy to find some kind of minimally happy level), I don't like the way that my relationships with my family keep failing because of our mutual misunderstandings, I don't like the way I alienate people ... As a matter of fact, there's few things about myself that I do like.
I'd like to solve the problems with my family (and who knows who else?). I've no doubt that if I fail here the effects will go on to poison my (hopefully many) remaining years no matter what I go on to achieve. But, well, I might be doomed to failure; I hope not, I hope that the counselling will take hold somehow, but maybe things have proceeded too far. Eh bien. I'll have to cope.
Please, tell me who you are; in person, or contact me over my profile page if you can't bear physical contact with me. I've no doubt--quite seriously, quite honestly--that I need to be smacked; someone who knows me as well as you should do the honours, if only because you're clearly so justifiably upset with me.
Oh, and sign your name in the future, even a pen name. I find anonymous posting somewhat creepy.
