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rfmcdonaldAre Torontonians unique in Canada for being passive-aggressive, or is it a Canadian thing?
Michael from Facebook pointed me to Alex Molotkow's Toronto Standard article describing the standoffishness and arguably subtle passive-aggressiveness for which we Torontonians have become known.
Is Molotkow correct in describing Torontonians' blasé attitudes? Pretty substantially. Torontonians as a rule don't like controversy, don't like making a fuss. A certain folksy populism aside in politicians such as mayor Ford, even with the sort of visionary new engaged-citizen urbanism advocated by previous mayor Miller added on, does not--or at least has not--made for especially heated political debates, the sorts of debates which exit political chambers and careful protests and the media to poison communities. Torontonians do tend to be very closely engaged with particular social circles, and trying to get into another circle can be problematic. And people really don't like public confrontations: pretending that something never happened is normative.
Is this unique to Toronto, though? I'd argue that this is a trait of English Canada generally, founded as it was according to ideals stressing stability over dynamism, with religious communities tending not to transgress particular boundaries and politics being generally technocratic and consensus-driven. Passive-aggressiveness might be uniquely visible in Toronto, true, but that might just be because Toronto has traditionally been the dominant metropolis of an English Canada founded on the very same norms. I wonder if Vancouver, and Alberta's Edmonton and Calgary, share this Torontonian/English Canadian trait.
Thoughts?
Michael from Facebook pointed me to Alex Molotkow's Toronto Standard article describing the standoffishness and arguably subtle passive-aggressiveness for which we Torontonians have become known.
Contrary to popular belief, Torontonians are not rude. In fact, we are deeply passive aggressive. Take me for instance. If a stranger stops me on the street, I automatically resent them, but I still stop. If they ask me for directions, I feel bad for resenting them and try to help. If they tell me about a salon promotion, I silently wish misfortune upon them and keep on walking. I don’t keep walking right away, though. I actually apologize for not taking them up on their scam.
Why should I apologize? That’s crazy. Living with 2.5 million people makes you crazy. Bottling up the crazy makes you even crazier. So you get people doing crazy things, like announcing on the streetcar, “Wow, it really sucks when people put their bags on the seat,” instead of asking the guy with the bags on his seat to move them. And you get people like me who mutter under their breath for eight blocks instead of asking the slow walkers ahead to get out of the way.
If you are someone who puts your bags up on the seat, or walks slowly on a crowded sidewalk, welcome home. There is no end to the shitty things you can do here. If you need exercise, you can strap on some rollerblades and stride like Elvis Stojko down the Spadina sidewalk. You can even talk on your cellphone while you do it. No one will clothesline you. No one will even ask you politely to use the road.
[. . .]
Once you’ve found a social scene, you’re in for life, because no social scene here will ever fire you for acting like a creep. Want a date? Just hit on every woman you meet. No one will call you out for acting obnoxious. No one will even warn the poor sucker who eventually says yes. Social skills are not an issue. You can buttonhole people even though you have nothing to say. You can say weird things to people just to make them uncomfortable. No one will ever ask you what your problem is. They’ll even feel bad discussing it among themselves.
Is Molotkow correct in describing Torontonians' blasé attitudes? Pretty substantially. Torontonians as a rule don't like controversy, don't like making a fuss. A certain folksy populism aside in politicians such as mayor Ford, even with the sort of visionary new engaged-citizen urbanism advocated by previous mayor Miller added on, does not--or at least has not--made for especially heated political debates, the sorts of debates which exit political chambers and careful protests and the media to poison communities. Torontonians do tend to be very closely engaged with particular social circles, and trying to get into another circle can be problematic. And people really don't like public confrontations: pretending that something never happened is normative.
Is this unique to Toronto, though? I'd argue that this is a trait of English Canada generally, founded as it was according to ideals stressing stability over dynamism, with religious communities tending not to transgress particular boundaries and politics being generally technocratic and consensus-driven. Passive-aggressiveness might be uniquely visible in Toronto, true, but that might just be because Toronto has traditionally been the dominant metropolis of an English Canada founded on the very same norms. I wonder if Vancouver, and Alberta's Edmonton and Calgary, share this Torontonian/English Canadian trait.
Thoughts?
