[LINK] Two links on Sally Ride and the question of being out

[rfmcdonald]

The revelation that the recently deceased Sally Ride, the astronaut who was the first American woman in space, was actually a lesbian and involved in a long-term relationship has ignited a minor, but well-conducted, debate over the question of whether she should have been out. As the first American woman in space--and only the third woman at that point--Ride had a huge influence as a role model for young women interested in space. In life, what could she have achieved as someone out? The debateconducted at Joe. My. God. by the commenters makes for interesting reading.

I've come across two particularly thoughtful posts on Sally Ride and the question of being out. The first? Amy Davidson's blog post for The New Yorker, "The Astronaut Bride".

A few months earlier, about the same time as Tereshkova’s divorce, she, too, married a fellow astronaut, Steve Hawley, without any world leaders present. A brief story in the August 15, 1982, Times (“TWO ASTRONAUTS TELL FRIENDS OF THEIR MARRIAGE LAST MONTH”) included this line: “ ‘We didn’t want to make a big deal of it,’ Mrs. Hawley said. ‘We only told a few friends.’ ” Luckily, by the time she went into space, the Times had figured out that “Mrs. Hawley” was still Sally Ride.

And that is when she truly became Sally Ride—not just a scientist and athlete (she’d considered being a professional tennis player) but an icon. That meant more discussion of her personal life. A June 19, 1983, “Woman in the News” story in the Times said Ride and Hawley “were quietly married, making them the first astronauts to do so”—meaning, perhaps, the first Americans (or the first to do so quietly)—and that their house was “laced with mementos of the space age,” including “shuttle dishware.” Ride’s 1982 marriage is mentioned in her Times obituary, as is her divorce, in 1987. (The space decor comes up, too.) Then, at the end, there’s this:

Dr. Ride is survived by her partner of 27 years, Tam O’Shaughnessy; her mother, Joyce; and her sister, Ms. Scott, who is known as Bear. (Dr. O’Shaughnessy is chief operating officer of Dr. Ride’s company.)

Bear Scott, Ride’s sister, and her company, Sally Ride Science, confirmed to reporters that no one should mistake “partner” for business partner: “We consider Tam a member of the family,” Bear Scott told BuzzFeed. She, too, is a lesbian (and a Presbyterian minister) but more open than her sister ever was. The listing of O’Shaughnessy as Ride’s partner was apparently the first time the relationship had been in the public record. Bear Ride talked about her sister’s “very fundamental sense of privacy.”

The reactions to what was referred to as a “posthumous coming out” were, on the whole, sympathetic, but rich with questions. USA Today referred to “the quiet, graceful way in which she revealed her love for another woman.” Would doing so, say, at a gay-rights rally, or by applying for a marriage license, or even just in an interview, have been loud and graceless? (The title of the article, which included understanding quotes from the Human Rights Campaign, was “FORMER ASTRONAUT SALLY RIDE CHOSE PRIVACY OVER GAY CAUSES.”) There was, as Bear Scott hoped there would be, happiness about having a new lesbian hero. Some commentators noted that, even if they had been married under state law, the Defense of Marriage Act would have kept O’Shaughnessy from receiving any of Ride’s federal benefits.

But the deep appreciation and respect that welled up for a woman who was not only brave enough to blast off on a rocket but devoted her life afterward to encouraging girls to go into science and math was tinged, in some quarters, by muffled disappointment—not about her identity, but about that very quiet. Andrew Sullivan called Ride an “absent heroine.”

And she was a heroine, especially to many girls. She openly acknowledged that the women’s movement had made her trip to space possible—that it didn’t just happen. She told reporters at the time of her flight, “It’s too bad our society isn’t further along.” Again, that was her work; she had a sense of what it meant to be a role model, to be Sally Ride. Perhaps she thought that parents would not buy the children’s science books that she co-wrote with O’Shaughnessy, who helped run Sally Ride Science and was described on its Web site as her “friend,” if they thought the authors were lesbians. The more troubling question there is not for Ride but for the rest of us: If that was her fear, was she right? Have we, as a nation, not been ready to let a lesbian inspire our daughters to fly, if they want to, to the moon, and back?

We may, at least, have reached a moment where being a “private person” is no longer a satisfying answer to the dilemma of the closet. Ride was sixty-one, and so there is talk of the mores of a certain “generation.” No one wants to make anyone’s life harder. But at some point the line between quiet, and silent, and withholding becomes unclear. It is significant that the generals and admirals who came around to ending Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, which banned gays and lesbians from serving openly in the military, talked, above all, about not wanting to ask their troops to lie.

The second is Natalie Wolchover's Space.com"Why Aren't There Any Openly Gay Astronauts?".

Three hundred and thirty American men and women have served as astronauts since the start of NASA's human spaceflight program. Only one is publicly known to have been gay or bisexual — Sally Ride — and she kept it private until her death, yesterday (July 23), when her obituary on the Sally Ride Science organization's website stated that Ride was survived by Tam O'Shaughnessy, her "partner of 27 years."

As the first American woman in space and a scientist, Ride served as a role model for generations of young girls. Now, she'll serve as a role model for LGBT youth as well, said her sister, Bear Ride. "I hope it makes it easier for kids growing up gay that they know that another one of their heroes was like them," Bear Ride, who identifies as gay, told Buzzfeed yesterday.

Gay rights advocates say Sally Ride's addition to the ranks of LGBT role models will make a tremendous impact. "Role models are incredibly valuable for everyone, but I think especially for LGBT youth, who may be born into a family where they don't have an LGBT role model. It is so important for them to look out into the world and see they could be welcome in that world," Stuart Gaffney, media director at Marriage Equality USA, told SPACE.com. "Sally Ride will be that for them now."

Human Rights Campaign president Chad Griffin concurred, telling Buzzfeed, "The fact that Sally Ride was a lesbian will further help round out Americans' understanding of the contributions of LGBT Americans to our country." [Astronaut Sally Ride: In Her Own Words]

Ride's decision to keep her sexual orientation private reflects her very private nature, sources said. But the lack of even one openly gay or lesbian astronaut in the history of American spaceflight may reflect the culture at the NASA astronaut office. Although NASA does not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation, Michael Cassutt, author of five books and hundreds of articles about human spaceflight, said coming out would until recently have been "a career-wrecker" for an astronaut. "Not for any formal reason, but in the same way that any medical issue or even some kind of notoriety has been an astronaut career-wrecker," Cassutt told SPACE.com.

"Any issue that detracts from the mission is or has been the kind of thing an astronaut wants to avoid. It isn't NASA politics; it is NASA politics as practiced at the astronaut office," Cassutt said, adding that the office has often resembled a "military squadron."

[. . .]
Cassutt said even though he suspects there are or have been some other gay or lesbian astronauts, and in spite of the progress made on LGBT issues, "I don't expect anyone in the current corps to be 'out' any time soon, assuming anyone is gay."

The implication is that even in 2012, a same-sex orientation could still earn an astronaut unwanted notoriety that would detract from a mission. Robert Pearlman, space historian and founding editor of collectSPACE.com (a SPACE.com partner site), said the choice to shield one's sexuality "unfortunately cannot yet be labeled 'behind the times.' While there are a great many more people who are openly gay today, we are not yet to a point of universal acceptance," he noted.