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rfmcdonaldRecently, both Abiola Lapite and Francis Strand have commented on the potential surrounding being gay (or bisexual) and being a parent. Abiola linked to a brief comment by Andrew Sullivan expressing surprise that many parents are disturbed when their children come out as non-heterosexual, suggesting that such fears are comprehensible inasmuch as it means the likelihood of grandchildren (particularly grandchildren who are their genetic descendants) drops. As it were, Francis confirms this to be true in his own personal experience.
In retrospect, that might well have been an issue for my parents when I came out to them, though I do have to wonder if they ever thought there was any chance at all of meeting a nice girl and reproducing the McDonald and Wood genes before that time, when I was rather socially withdrawn and heavily dependent on antidepressants to remain functional. I've a sneaking suspicion that they haven't considered the question of whether my sister is at all interested in becoming a mother; they should. They've never raised the issue to me, which lends itself to multiple interpretations, none of which I can categorically adopt or exclude.
Myself, I've never excluded the prospect of one day becoming a father; in fact, right now I think that if I was suitably prepared it would be rather a nice experience. Granted that my sexual orientation complicates an interest in fatherhood--in particular, in becoming a child's biological parent--I'm still interested in the exercise (and not as a way to ensure my personal immortality if I fail to become an immortal literary or other legend). Given my traditionally poor track record at predicting the outcome of my personal affairs, though, I can't give any guarantees; I certainly have no idea how this would be achieved (same-sex relationship, opposite-sex relationship, single parent? adopted child or biological offspring?). Certainly, becoming a father right now would be a spectacularly immense and likely unrecoverable blow to my aspirations for upward mobility. One positive thing (of many) that I can say about the people I've seen lately is that it would be physically impossible for me to accidentally become a father a child with them.
I'm not a parent, so I don't understand those concerns first-hand. I'm still not very sympathetic to my parents for the ways in which they tried to avoid the entire question until I force them to go to the family counselling we needed. What I can say is that the fear that my particular combination of their genes won't be reproduced is something increasingly common to all parents nowadays, regardless of their children's sexual orientation. Fertility rates have been dropping worldwide for decades, almost inevitably below replacement levels; given that non-heterosexuals make up perhaps ~5% of the global population, the drop in the fertility rate of heterosexuals is far and away the most serious issue. Certainly, I do know that many of my heterosexual agemates aren't interested in becoming parents, or in having more than one or two children.
I wonder: How big an issue will heterosexual children's non-procreative tendencies be for their parents?
In retrospect, that might well have been an issue for my parents when I came out to them, though I do have to wonder if they ever thought there was any chance at all of meeting a nice girl and reproducing the McDonald and Wood genes before that time, when I was rather socially withdrawn and heavily dependent on antidepressants to remain functional. I've a sneaking suspicion that they haven't considered the question of whether my sister is at all interested in becoming a mother; they should. They've never raised the issue to me, which lends itself to multiple interpretations, none of which I can categorically adopt or exclude.
Myself, I've never excluded the prospect of one day becoming a father; in fact, right now I think that if I was suitably prepared it would be rather a nice experience. Granted that my sexual orientation complicates an interest in fatherhood--in particular, in becoming a child's biological parent--I'm still interested in the exercise (and not as a way to ensure my personal immortality if I fail to become an immortal literary or other legend). Given my traditionally poor track record at predicting the outcome of my personal affairs, though, I can't give any guarantees; I certainly have no idea how this would be achieved (same-sex relationship, opposite-sex relationship, single parent? adopted child or biological offspring?). Certainly, becoming a father right now would be a spectacularly immense and likely unrecoverable blow to my aspirations for upward mobility. One positive thing (of many) that I can say about the people I've seen lately is that it would be physically impossible for me to accidentally become a father a child with them.
I'm not a parent, so I don't understand those concerns first-hand. I'm still not very sympathetic to my parents for the ways in which they tried to avoid the entire question until I force them to go to the family counselling we needed. What I can say is that the fear that my particular combination of their genes won't be reproduced is something increasingly common to all parents nowadays, regardless of their children's sexual orientation. Fertility rates have been dropping worldwide for decades, almost inevitably below replacement levels; given that non-heterosexuals make up perhaps ~5% of the global population, the drop in the fertility rate of heterosexuals is far and away the most serious issue. Certainly, I do know that many of my heterosexual agemates aren't interested in becoming parents, or in having more than one or two children.
I wonder: How big an issue will heterosexual children's non-procreative tendencies be for their parents?
