[PHOTO] Me at 22 (#meat20)
Apr. 19th, 2020 11:59 pm
Low-resolution as it is, I think that this photo's flaws does a great job, if inadvertently, of exposing who I was at that time (September 2002) and in the years before. (I took this photo from my archived personal website, here.
I had only come out to myself in February of that year. That only came out at the end of a long process of very careful development that I did not recognize at the time. Me at 20 was 60 pounds heavier than me as of this picture (30 pounds heavier than I am now). I was hiding, from myself, from others within my carapace of flesh, to an extent that I was literally not capable of understanding.
There are certainly things that I wish I had done better; hindsight exists. Still: That me at 20 did as good a job as he could of surviving, and deserves credit for that. Me at 40 would not have existed without his efforts. I'm grateful for how I survived me at 20; I'm grateful to have been able to become me at 40.